I think we all go through times in our life when we feel like nothing is working.  It feels like we are working so hard and doing the very best we can and yet there seems to be no results.   This happens in so many areas of our life.  Being a mother can be very discouraging on some days and then it seems other days we are on top of the world.  This also happens when we build a business for ourselves.  
    It is like planting a garden.  We plant those seeds and sometimes it takes a awhile before those seeds ...<< MORE >>

    Our subconscious mind is an amazing organ.  Our mind seems to believe everything we tell it.  Well you wonder what exactly does your mind listen?  It listens to our thoughts. Our thoughts go into our mind and it becomes reality for our mind, which in turn sends those messages to our body and our body reacts as if that is what is happening at the moment.       Think about that for a moment. It is true.  Our body reacts to our thoughts in our mind. 

     So this past month has been pretty stressful.  I found myself going to bed at night ...<< MORE >>

It has been a couple of months since I have written on this blog.  Life seems to be a roller coaster in so many ways.
We all have stress in our life and it seems to go in waves with how intense it is.  The economy has been tough on our business and so we are doing what every else in Georgia is doing... just hanging in there....But there is light at the end of the tunnel!!

It is crazy to see that on one hand, my life can be falling apart and yet on the other hand; I have the greatest life ever.  It just depends on what you choose to look at and concentrate on... I am choosing to look at the cool things in my life that I love... one of which is having my grandson with me for a month... I have enjoyed every minute!!

We have been in this house by the lake for 4 months now and it is heavenly!!   We are taking advantage of the space by doing classes on Tuesday and Wednesday nights.  It has gone really well.  We have six months worth of classes in helping with relationships, health, and stress in our lives. 
The unsure economy is affecting us in so many ways.  Having emotional tools to work with is one of the best gifts we can give ourself.

If you know anyone living in the Atlanta area that would enjoy learning some new skills, have them contact us!! ...<< MORE >>

I received a phone call last week from an individual who is working with a woman that has suffered severe ritual abuse as a child.
The woman has spent her adult life medicating herself with alcohol to deal with the emotional pain and trauma.  She is now gaining the courage to face her past and begin the healing process.  It takes courage to do so and alot of support from others around her.

The world of psychology seems to believe that multiple personality disorder, (or whatever you choose to call it) is very rare.  Everyone is familiar with "Sybil".  That ...<< MORE >>

Last week I was playing tennis with Chuck when my mind turned from playing the game to thinking about what the difference is between winning and losing.  It seems that I always have to struggle to win when I'm playing against Chuck.  It doesn't seem to matter what we are playing, he seems to outwit me, or outsmart me or get lucky.   So when I do win, I have to make a big deal of it.
He is pretty patient with me and he goes along with it pretty good.

Winning and losing isn't just about playing a competitive sport, ...<< MORE >>

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it usually to meet a need
you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with
guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
they are there for a reason you need them to be.

Then without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will ...<< MORE >>

Healing from abuse is a long painful process.  I wish that was not always the case but it is true. Many people choose to stay in their pain and self medicate themselves to ease the pain.  That may work for a temporary fix but for the long haul, self medication only multiplies and amplifies our problems.  The other reality to that is that those who are in your close circle of influence have to deal with the consequences of your self medication.  The pain that is inflicted on those we love is seldom recognized by the person self medicating.  They convince themselves their choices affect no one.  That is a lie they tell themselves so they can  rationalize their behavior.  I wish there were a magic formula that we could use to pull people into reality but unfortunately that is not the case. 

Another part of the process that is painful is the spewing of our anger when we began the healing process. It seems that when you have been violated, the very core of you that knows you have value and you are important is  offended.  There is a part of you that knows you didn't deserve what happened to you.  But for whatever reason that very core part gets buried in everything else that goes on to protect you.  It seems that when you open up that wound and began to take a close look,  the anger spews out like steam from a hot pot when the lid gets lifted off.  It is hot and it can painful to the person that it touches.  But we all want to do it. We want to lash out at the people the closest to us.  Sometimes those people we lash out are not the people that abused us.  In fact in many instances, they are the people that tried to save us from the abuse.  None the less it is painful for those who are the closest.

Lucia Capacchione loves the statement, 'Nobody can tell us anything about ourselves that we haven't already said"
So it seems that the abused person has repeatedly told themselves certain things.  And because it is so familiar to them, they began to believe that people on the outside are saying that.  That is not always the case.

The comforting part of this process is that like steam. the anger will eventually dissipate if it is directed in the right direction.
The best way to direct the anger is to give it to some inadamant object that can absorb it.  That is why journal writing or screaming in a pillow can be so helpful.  The emotion is given a chance to get out of our guts and our mouths but to something that can absorb it without causing further damage.

-Laraine

A good friend of mine sent me a book last week that has recently been published. It is called "Not Another Sarah" by Sarah E. Southerland.  It is her story about an abusive relationship that she fell into. It is very well written.  In one of the  chapters she addresses the cycle of abuse.  I think that most of us are familiar with that cycle but I think it is good to be reminded of what it is.

It is very easy to be in the middle of that cycle and not recognize it for what it is.  Abusive relationships follow a pattern.  They ...<< MORE >>

Lucia Capacchione had the opportunity to work with prison inmates.  As she was working with a group of them, she asked them about why there were abusers.  One of them told her, " I only have two choices. If I am not going to be a victim, I have to be an abuser."  That is an interesting statement.  I think that statistics clearly show that many abusers were once victims.  So what turns a victim into an abuser?  I think there are probably many factors that play into it. It is not just one.  It is interesting though how easy a ...<< MORE >>